Tuesday, March 27, 2012

{ stuck on repeat}

How is it the moment I get the mounds of laundry Folded and put away there are four more mounds to do? I'm still trying to figure that one out.

If you sometimes, like me, feel like you ARE the washing machine in an endless cycle of clean, rinse, spin and repeat, you can understand my plight. Day in and day out, it sometimes can begin to feel like that movie GROUNDHOG DAY. {great movie by the way}. Getting in a routine is a good thing, and I like it, except when that routine has some bad things in it.
Lately I've found my patience level to be low. Every small thing upsetting me...tracked in mud, a spill on the floor, fighting over a toy, a dirty floor after I JUST SWEPT!!! I know when the kids are grown these will probably be things that I miss, but it's hard to see that in those moments.

I've been trying to teach myslef to be more dilligent in prayer each day. It's something I've never been good at...and as a youth I never liked praying in a large group, feeling like I was stumbling over my words, worried too much about sounding right to everyone else, but God. I've gotten over those things, and am able to pray easily in a large group as I don't worry about how I am praying but that I am concentrated on the Lord as I am speaking to him..but I still need to be more dillegence in each day coming before him throughout the day.

Even more, I've been understanding more the importance of prayer. How VITAL it is to my relationship with him. Been meditating on Hebrews 5:7, and seeing how important it was for JESUS to pray to God, to thier relationship. I'm taking on the challange to each morning after reading His word to spend a solid half hour in prayer. Praying scripture, praying for things I want to change in my heart, life, family, church, neighborhood and world. { I'm using THIS as a starting point}...and my hope is that I will develop good habits in prayer and that my prayer life would flourish as I talk with the Lord, praise him, seek wisdom and understanding.

And through prayer I hope that it will trickle down to dealing with life each day. The following I'm sure describes a day we have all had:

"Imagine yourself in your kitchen trying to make dinner for a group of little kids who are tired and should have eaten a half hour ago. Imagine that things are going wrong beyond that — maybe you are out of something you assumed you had, children are fussing with one another, and maybe your littlest is still at the age where they come stand on your feet and pull on your pant leg. Bonus points if you are wearing maternity pants and this little person is actually capable of pulling your pants down. You are hot, you are tired, and you are sick of it.

This is no time for a gospel presentation. There isn’t time. There isn’t anyone to lead the discussion around the felt board, because you are still scrambling to figure out dinner. This isn’t a time for a gospel presentation because it is a time for gospel application. This is a time to take the grace that God has extended to you, and feed your children with it. Apply what you believe about God’s mercy and kindness and long suffering towards us, and pour it out to them — in a form they can believe in. Unrest like this is just like a baby crying for a bottle — only what they need is spiritual milk. They need you to feed them, not with a lecture, but with application."-{Rachel Jankovic , Motherhood is Application}

I so often find myslef feeling defeated. The boys have worn me down to my core, and I just don't have the energy to muster up trying to help them see the gospel and God's grace in that moment...but like Rachel says, it is the PERFECT time to pull up my boot straps, get over myself and apply what God has graciously shown me, what he has taught me over the years.
I like how she puts it " ...feed them, not with a lecture, but with application."

And cue in prayer. By praying for those oppurtunities and wisdom to use those times to apply what God has taught me to teach my boys I hope I can better take advantage of those moments.
So pray for me and I will pray for you all, my sweet blog friends {and real life friends} as we work through life here on earth, doing the best we can to love and serve our Savior.

4 comments:

Danielle said...

This post is so beautiful, Anne! Prayer has never been my strongest point either, whether regularly or in the moment. I'll attempt to pray for you and you pray for me.

BTW, that book you reference really encouraged me. It was so funny and down to earth yet practical.

Chastity Gomez said...

What wonderful encouragement! Thanks for sharing!

Amy said...

Anne,

Thanks for sharing this. I can relate so well. The laundry...I don't know if it's 4 kids that pushed it over the top or what, but I'm totally overwhelmed with it, not to mention the many other endless tasks. I've been so weary, and this was just what I needed to read.

much love,
Amy

Dad said...

Therefore brothers offer yourselves as living sacrifice holy and pleasing to God. This is your spiritual act of worship.
I think you are presenting the gospel.