Monday, February 06, 2012


mind you, I am NO beer connoisseur, I'm more of a wine girl....
I DO know I dislike dark beer, like Guinness for example.
This beer Justin got {for the ladies} for our Superbowl party yesterday, and I saw many men partake as well.
Pretty good for the $.

Friday, February 03, 2012

instagram friday

Dex 8 mo


being happy at home {part 3}

First of all , I realize my thoughts are all over the place, and I apologize for the poor organization of these posts.

Secondly though, it's good to know that I'm not the only one.
I've received a few e-mails, and talked with a few different people. Just working through it all in my {loco} mind

I realize that a HUGE part of my problem is just plain old being discontent. Being discontent because I want for ME.

I've been reading1 and 2 Peter. I was slacking off about reading it and yesterday spent some time meditating on it. It's awesome how applicable scripture is ALL the TIME.

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
{2 Peter 1:3-11}

As I was reading some of the Westminster Catechism kept popping into my mind.

What is the chief end of man? To glorify God and enjoy him forever.

NOT {and have a great job...and be able to sew like a maniac, have the best kids ever...etc.}

Glorify God and Enjoy him forever. PERIOD.

And it's true.

I know and see that a part of glorifying God CAN BE through your job, your sewing, through how you respond to your kids...and that's awesome.

I know there are many areas of my life I can work on, and wanting to do other things with my life is OK. But my priority should be { and desire to be} on giving glory and LOVING Christ, my husband, my family, my church body, OTHERS.

And if I can accomplish that...if when I die they can say she LOVED so hard. Loved the LORD mightily, loved her husband and children well, and was passionate about loving others...I'd be good with that.

Thursday, February 02, 2012

being happy at home {part 2}

Here is the thing, while I am satisfied with where God has me, where I am at in life. The feelings creep in...the guilt I do feel sometimes that I'm not 'making a difference'...{which I know I don't have to work at a paid job to do}

I am COMPLETELY thankful and happy to be at home, raising our boys. I also know there are a lot of women who would love to be able to stay home with their children. I guess it's the 'grass is always greener' syndrome.

It's not even that I want a career, I know I don't I suppose it's just more that I don't feel like I am contributing to the world at all. I realize that I'm being selfish here {the purpose of my life is 'to glorify God and enjoy him forever. Adore, worship, serve, seek to bring glory to him}... but I'm human...a sinner.

The inter-webs can be a danger zone. There are blogs/sites about and by women who seem to have it all figured out as a wife, mom, friend....and I know that nobody has it ALL figured out and most don't really affect me. I really enjoy reading others blogs, what they have to say, getting to know some of them better {via e-mail, facebook, etc.} and appreciate them and many have been so encouraging to me in many ways...and I can honestly say I'm happy for them.
It's more the women who have it put together AND are doing something amazing. Like sewing their pants off, or doing cute crafty things, doing something sweet for their catch my drift.

AT the SAME TIME...I realize that what',s the point of all that? I mean I suppose some of them do it for $$ , but mostly they do it because they enjoy it. And then they blog about it. Because why not? Makes total sense.

{ I however, am probably making little to ZERO sense, I am rambling on about the craziness that is in my head I realize...but I'll keep going, it's my BLAWG after all.}

So, I guess I just feel like such a lame person. LAME.

I do it...the wife thing, the mom thing, the house thing, the blog thing, the friend thing...
etc...but I'm not really doing any of it that great. You know?

I know...I KNOW that the purpose of my life isn't to be AWESOME, or to please other people, or show off my mad skills, it just feels like I'm not a little bit good at anything.


I know, GET OVER IT already, but I can't help the longing of DOING SOMETHING with my life. Problem is...I don't even know what I WANT TO DO. I've looked into going back to a few years, for nursing. I'd LOVE being a labor and delivery nurse...and since I have a college degree I can join in an accelerated program. Then I have doubts, like am I being completely selfish in wanting this? It's not like we need extra income or anything...and what about other things I've thought about doing...writing more, opening a store or restaurant? What about just simply investing more in people? Am I completely insane?

Is it just as simple as I am looking to other things for joy/happiness other than Christ?
Am I the worst child of Christ EVER?
Am I the craziest person on the planet...and the only person reading my own blog?

more to come....

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

being happy at home. {part 1}

My parents new farm;)
{my parents house. December 2011}

As a young girl I don’t remember ever really wanting to be something in particular when I grew up. I never really put that much thought into it. Sure I played house, and friends and I would have a wide variety of pretend careers but even as I got older I never really had a career I REALLY wanted.
I suppose maybe it’s like that for a lot of people. I think many young people enter into college having NO IDEA what they really want to do. I honestly think it would be helpful for high school students to have a
‘careers’ class where they could observe and/or explore different career paths to help them decide what they might want to do. Then again people seem change their minds as they grow older too.
Anyway, when I entered college I decided to get a teaching degree. I always loved my teachers and I really wanted to teach middle school aged kids. After three different schools, and getting married, I had one year of college fund money and then I was out. Long story short I did what seemed completely logical at the time. I got a degree in history, thinking I could get a job at the historical society, or perhaps when Justin was done with school we’d move somewhere amazing where I’d get an amazing career with National Geographic or something.
I graduated and when jobs weren’t panning out in Madison, I stuck with my job at Starbucks and saw the head of the department for some ideas.
He told me to join the PEACE CORPS.
Nice and all, but I did just get married and pretty sure my husband didn’t want me taking off to who knows where and for how long. I’m sure I would’ve benefited a LOT from the experience but I was at a point in my life where it wasn’t going to happen.
So, I worked at Starbucks…and then I got pregnant about six months after I graduated.

TOTAL shock…and COMPLETE excitement.

I remember back as a young girl, sitting in church watching families file in with their sweet little children and want that. A husband and little babes of my own to love on, teach, and raise.

Now here I am, all these years later, with a great husband and four healthy boys and I find myself complaining. I know I should be completely grateful { and I am grateful for all the goodness God has given to me}, but I still feel….unsettled?

Am I the only one?

more soon…

{8 months}

Dex 8 mo