Wednesday, February 01, 2012

being happy at home. {part 1}

My parents new farm;)
{my parents house. December 2011}

As a young girl I don’t remember ever really wanting to be something in particular when I grew up. I never really put that much thought into it. Sure I played house, and friends and I would have a wide variety of pretend careers but even as I got older I never really had a career I REALLY wanted.
I suppose maybe it’s like that for a lot of people. I think many young people enter into college having NO IDEA what they really want to do. I honestly think it would be helpful for high school students to have a
‘careers’ class where they could observe and/or explore different career paths to help them decide what they might want to do. Then again people seem change their minds as they grow older too.
Anyway, when I entered college I decided to get a teaching degree. I always loved my teachers and I really wanted to teach middle school aged kids. After three different schools, and getting married, I had one year of college fund money and then I was out. Long story short I did what seemed completely logical at the time. I got a degree in history, thinking I could get a job at the historical society, or perhaps when Justin was done with school we’d move somewhere amazing where I’d get an amazing career with National Geographic or something.
I graduated and when jobs weren’t panning out in Madison, I stuck with my job at Starbucks and saw the head of the department for some ideas.
He told me to join the PEACE CORPS.
Nice and all, but I did just get married and pretty sure my husband didn’t want me taking off to who knows where and for how long. I’m sure I would’ve benefited a LOT from the experience but I was at a point in my life where it wasn’t going to happen.
So, I worked at Starbucks…and then I got pregnant about six months after I graduated.

TOTAL shock…and COMPLETE excitement.

I remember back as a young girl, sitting in church watching families file in with their sweet little children and want that. A husband and little babes of my own to love on, teach, and raise.

Now here I am, all these years later, with a great husband and four healthy boys and I find myself complaining. I know I should be completely grateful { and I am grateful for all the goodness God has given to me}, but I still feel….unsettled?

Am I the only one?

more soon…


sarah said...

our stories are kind of similar, anne. i know *exactly* what you're talking about with that vague feeling of being unsettled. and i think its totally normal -- to feel grateful and unsettled at the same time. anyway, just had to comment and say you're not alone!!

Danielle said...

Can't wait to read more! And you're not alone. I'd say I'm not unsettled, just love my kids and want to give my family my all plus do my best at photography and writing. This can compete at times for my attention. I always alway always wanted to write, so just trying to live the life God has for me and not compare what it looks like with others who've "made it" in my mind even though their circumstances are completely different (like their kids are grown, in school, whatever).

Love the new look!