Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Unconditional love

The day we got home from the hospital with Maxwell, Justin and I were so exhausted. Both of us could have collapsed into our bed and have slept for three days! However, with a newborn that was not an option! I think we had it a little harder than most new families, my labor lasted over 36 hours and Maxwell was having really hard time breastfeeding, but by the time we got home we thought things would settle down and get easier.
We were both in bed trying to nap, and Maxwell wakes up wanting to eat, and breastfeeding is not going well and so we give him a little formula, and he is still upset! I am crying by this point mostly through exhaustion but also from frustration with this child! He finally calms down and goes back to sleep. I look at Justin and burst into tears, "What were we thinking?" I bawled. He began to cry too (from pure exhaustion) and I went on, "Why didn't anyone warn us?". Now, let me tell you, all of us have pre-conceived notions of becoming parents, yes we know it will be hard, but it will be worth it, and it will be mostly good. Boy, were my ideas way off! It was nothing like I expected! Those first few weeks, were so long and tiring, I thought I would never ever leave the house again. I did not see how it could be possible to have anything else to do but to tend to this baby!
Then came our rescue squad, my Mom, and my Mother-in-law. They took turns coming every day so for about a week we had someone there to help us out. It was such a blessing to have that, they were so great!
To my friends planning on starting a family soon, or are soon expecting their little one, I warned you! It is hard, really hard! Those first few weeks seem like they will be your doom, but it gets better. SO much better. You get to know you baby and what he/she needs and my advice is to call upon our Savior. Seek him, and his comfort and help. Take help from family and friends, you will be so thankful in the end you did ( I always said I did not want people to be around, just us and Max, I quickly changed my mind). But most of all seek God. He will put his arms around you and comfort you, he will fill your cup. he will give you hope, he will show you his unconditional love, he will remind you that he is in complete control of every second of your life!


Jane Swanson said...

It was my privilege to be asked into your inner sanctum and special newborn time with your Maxwell. Next time we'll come to play with Max and cook and clean and you will be an ol pro on the baby end.
~mom jane

loren said...

Hi Anne,

Good advice! I think that God sometimes even allows us to get into situations like that, so we will come to the point of seeking Him. Not pleasant at the time maybe, but sooo beneficial in the long run.

Zoe said...

Sing it sister! Chris and I had a difficult time also...we could only rely on God to comfort and give us strength to answer all Paul's needs! And sometimes even still! (Teething) I just remember thinking why would anyone have another baby and now I am thinking when are we going to have another!!?

Shawn L said...


True it's the most tired times in Jessica's and my life. Especially Jessica, I was able to help with at least with night feedings.

Sadly when we were tired we would fight about silly things. It's sad how when you are exhausted you take it out on the ones you love. Well at least I do and I need to pray for a change in that area.

I'm glad you have other family that are very close this sure helps. I don't recall any of our family except my sister able to do much during that time. We did however have alot of friends help us out and my sister help with the other children.

My wife and my mom were at odds usually during that time and Jessica's mom doesn't like newborns so that made it harder.

Thankfully my wife and my mom are much better friends.

I do remember being brought to prayer and praise much during in my exhaustion. I thank God for those time. As compared to my wife though my exhaustion was minimal.

Laurie said...

Hi Anne. Thanks for visiting my blog.

Oh how I remember those first three shocking weeks! I wrote a post about it too called "fantasy...meet reality". And the title says it all. I have a friend going through a bit of disillusionment right now about her newborn. I will refer her to your blog.