boo.

Being Real 2.0, and finding the real me.

Someone whom I love and respect very much, asks me {nearly every time I see him} what am I going to do with my life?

I know, in his eyes being a Mom and all is nice, but what was I going to DO with my life? How was I going to contribute to society. He and his wife are VERY successful in life, and have the money to show for it.

I get it. What was my mission in life?

In this day and age with so many working Moms, and woman doing more than they ever have, being a stay at home mom seems, well, like it isn't enough.

There are plenty of Mom's out there who do work and have kids. WE {as in Justin and I} have decided that it is important to us for me to be home with our kids. He makes plenty of money for us to live comfortably so I am able to do that.

There are times, amidst spit-up, spills, and laundry piles that I wonder, how this can be it for me? That the majority of my life is filled with cleaning, running errands, disciplining and teaching children, and other various tasks.

Sure, I know, I know, Oprah has mentioned several times that Mothers have the hardest job in the world, and the audience cheers in agreement. I can't help but wonder if inside, she is really thinking how thankful she is she isn't a stay at home Mom.

When I got married, I QUICKLY realized that I couldn't be as selfish as I once was. I was not joined with this man, and we were ONE. Yikes!

I think so many marriages fail mostly out of pure selfishness, and that one or both spouses have no interest in being "bossed around" by the other and they are not going to change or make sacrifice for another person!

Then, when children enter the scene, you have to become even LESS selfish and sacrifice so much more. FREEDOM becomes much more limited as you are now responsible for another LIFE!

All these changes got me to thinking about who I am. I've been married over seven years now, and we have three young boys. How did I get here, and we did "I" go? I mean, I don't know exactly where I DID see myself, or who "I" was supposed to be,but it didn't seem like this was it.

How was I supposed to find any part of who I was when it seems all my time is given to my husband,kids, and others? Who am I?!

A few weeks ago we had a guest speaker, Peter Hubbard, at our church who talked about our mission in life.

He told a story about how he was waiting for his wife at the mall and he asked several people who happened to come sit where he was if they knew what their purpose in life was.

As he talked about one girl who was confident in her purpose to become a teacher and tell people about Jesus. Another middle aged man had no clue, but the majority of people really hadn't thought about it much and just gave general answers you might expect. To have a good job, enjoy family and friends and be successful and contributing to society in some way.

As I read Marian's article over at Ungrind this week, it really hit home. I thought back to that sermon a few weeks ago. I thought about my mission in life. How authentic was I being in that?
It seems like I have everything backwards. I'm being real with girlfriends and leaving my husband wondering what was going on inside my head. He often comments that he can't read my mind, so why do I so often expect him to?

What was my life mission, and if someone came up to me today and asked, how would I respond?

Pastor Hubbard gave us a list to use as guidelines as we look at ourselves, our real mission in lives. He encouraged us to ask someone close to us to ask these questions of ourselves. It's not a check-list, to check off and say, YES! I must be saved! But, rather to indicate that you are part of the people of God.

Here are a few:
Do you see evidences that I am saved?
In the way I am honest about who I am and what I do?

Do you hear my confess my sins? Do I repent?

How do I receive and give forgiveness?

Do you see my trusting in Christ as my only hope for righteousness?

Am I intentionally building relationships with the lost?

Do I worry too much about how others perceive me?

Am I using my time and {our} money wisely?

Do you see me moving from things that use to bind me?

What better person to ask than my husband who sees me everyday, in the good,the bad {and ugly} am I living authentically for Christ? Am I on the mission for Jesus Christ?

As I define my authentic self, who I want to really be, it really is simple, and that is OK.
I am a sinner saved by grace, and I pray that during this short life here on earth I will be as Marion desires and describes in her article.

"Authenticity, let it flow. Let it be real and raw and full of God."

May that be my life mission....FULL of GOD, on mission for Jesus Christ no matter where I am or what I am doing.

"Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation." 1 Peter 2:12

keeping it real.

I can't STAND it when people are fake with me.

I once knew someone that I didn't see all that often, but when I did I got that over the top, fake bubbly attitude, and plastered on smile. I could never figure out who she really was underneath all her words.

I've thought about it though---that while I might not be a complete fake with people, I might not be as real as I can be with people.
What I mean is on a personal level am I willing to admit my faults? Can I'd admit I can be weak and weary? Do I ask for prayer and help with my struggles?
Not enough.
In the past few years, my best friend and I who are now separated by hundreds of miles have been better at being more genuine with one another. Being more open and honest than we ever before---even when we lived together in college. We have worked through some hard things together. Things that needed to be revealed to each other so we could help each other and heal, to point each other to Christ.
I've only recently realized the need to be more authentic, more real with the people I see most. It's been three years since we torn up our roots in Wisconsin and moved to Kentucky, and in those short three years Justin and I have met some amazing, lifelong friends. We have been so blessed to find and become members of an amazing church body.
A church plant, and still relatively small, we have a group of amazingly tight knit people who genuinely love and care for one other. The display of love from friends who are excited and passionate about Christ has shown me that I can be more open and transparent with them.
It has been so rewarding and encouraging to be able to humble myself, and confess my struggles, my weaknesses, my pains.
The articles this month over at Ungrind have been so encouraging to read as I see these woman struggle as I have. As I think about who I am, what I want to be.

"An authentic, godly woman -- from the depths of me -- this is what I long to
be. And I want to struggle well to become this. I'm thankful that God is
continuing to show me more and more about the healing He wants to give me, most
of all, in my relationship with Him.
As Tim Keller says, "all of life is
repentance." So if that's the case, and I believe it is, then confession must
happen all the time to God and to the people he has put in our lives."

Like Samantha talks about in her article, An Uptown Confession I too hope I can become a more authentic and godly woman as I swallow my pride and become more honest, transparent, and real with others.

Brian Regan- Dinner Party

love Brian. :)

field of day-dreams

I know I've been slacking on actually writing on this blog. It's been crazy around here.
More actual words to come...

L-man

It's hard to believe in under 2 short months he will be 1!
He has recently started giving these looks to people, one of which is this cheesy smile. It's priceless. I hope I can get it on camera sometime.
I love this kid.

a few randoms about me.

My married last name is WAY easier than my maiden name...I always said I would marry someone with an easy last name...and I SURE did!

I hate being pregnant...but don't mind labor. If I could skip the nine months, and just do the labor and delievery I would....heck I'd do it twice. Not that I've had easier labors!

I hate tomatoes, but not salsa.

I hate anything from the sea, except tuna.

I also hate mushrooms, they are a fungus...and that's just gross.

I'm really bad a dusting...like REALLY bad...there are a number of things in our house that have NEVER been dusted. *GASP*

I wish I was REALLY (like amazingly talented, out of this world, knock your socks off) good at something.

I love Jesus. A wonderful, MERCIFUL savior, and I have so much to learn about him.

I love people, getting to know them, but I think I could be a better listener.

I'm a huge procrastinator, but LOVE the pressure to get things done.

Justin and I are almost complete opposites, and I love it. We balance each other well. He and I have so much fun together. I heart him.

My dream is to own my own shop someday.

I love that I'm 50% polish.

Our {as in Justin & I} dream is to flip houses together.

Every guy I went to a dance with in high-school is now gay.

I love laughing...love it.

I LOVE being sarcastic...and appreciate people who take it well, and dish it back.

I was very nervous about moving about 500 away from where we grew up. It was one of the best decisons we've ever made. {of course we still miss seeing family and friends as often as we'd like}

I LOVE to cook.

I love a clean kitchen.

I want to get better at decorating cookies and cupcakes... just for fun.

I want to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend.

Most of all I hope I can bring honor, glory to God. Find joy each day in him alone.

Growing in Faith and Trust.

Do you worry?
" Worry and fear will ROB you of the Joy and fruitfullness of trusting in God."- Mike Bullmore.



My cousin sent me this message from a Women's talk this past weekend.
I want to ENCOURAGE you to listen to this message from Mike Bullmore, pastor at Crossway Church in Bristol, WI where some of my family goes to church. About 45 minutes, it's worth the listen.

09.24.2009

forest boys. 9.24.2009, originally uploaded by olives on a monday.

I only got a few shots here, it was rainy, wet, and muddy, but I do LOVE this one.