Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Being Real 2.0, and finding the real me.

Someone whom I love and respect very much, asks me {nearly every time I see him} what am I going to do with my life?

I know, in his eyes being a Mom and all is nice, but what was I going to DO with my life? How was I going to contribute to society. He and his wife are VERY successful in life, and have the money to show for it.

I get it. What was my mission in life?

In this day and age with so many working Moms, and woman doing more than they ever have, being a stay at home mom seems, well, like it isn't enough.

There are plenty of Mom's out there who do work and have kids. WE {as in Justin and I} have decided that it is important to us for me to be home with our kids. He makes plenty of money for us to live comfortably so I am able to do that.

There are times, amidst spit-up, spills, and laundry piles that I wonder, how this can be it for me? That the majority of my life is filled with cleaning, running errands, disciplining and teaching children, and other various tasks.

Sure, I know, I know, Oprah has mentioned several times that Mothers have the hardest job in the world, and the audience cheers in agreement. I can't help but wonder if inside, she is really thinking how thankful she is she isn't a stay at home Mom.

When I got married, I QUICKLY realized that I couldn't be as selfish as I once was. I was not joined with this man, and we were ONE. Yikes!

I think so many marriages fail mostly out of pure selfishness, and that one or both spouses have no interest in being "bossed around" by the other and they are not going to change or make sacrifice for another person!

Then, when children enter the scene, you have to become even LESS selfish and sacrifice so much more. FREEDOM becomes much more limited as you are now responsible for another LIFE!

All these changes got me to thinking about who I am. I've been married over seven years now, and we have three young boys. How did I get here, and we did "I" go? I mean, I don't know exactly where I DID see myself, or who "I" was supposed to be,but it didn't seem like this was it.

How was I supposed to find any part of who I was when it seems all my time is given to my husband,kids, and others? Who am I?!

A few weeks ago we had a guest speaker, Peter Hubbard, at our church who talked about our mission in life.

He told a story about how he was waiting for his wife at the mall and he asked several people who happened to come sit where he was if they knew what their purpose in life was.

As he talked about one girl who was confident in her purpose to become a teacher and tell people about Jesus. Another middle aged man had no clue, but the majority of people really hadn't thought about it much and just gave general answers you might expect. To have a good job, enjoy family and friends and be successful and contributing to society in some way.

As I read Marian's article over at Ungrind this week, it really hit home. I thought back to that sermon a few weeks ago. I thought about my mission in life. How authentic was I being in that?
It seems like I have everything backwards. I'm being real with girlfriends and leaving my husband wondering what was going on inside my head. He often comments that he can't read my mind, so why do I so often expect him to?

What was my life mission, and if someone came up to me today and asked, how would I respond?

Pastor Hubbard gave us a list to use as guidelines as we look at ourselves, our real mission in lives. He encouraged us to ask someone close to us to ask these questions of ourselves. It's not a check-list, to check off and say, YES! I must be saved! But, rather to indicate that you are part of the people of God.

Here are a few:
Do you see evidences that I am saved?
In the way I am honest about who I am and what I do?

Do you hear my confess my sins? Do I repent?

How do I receive and give forgiveness?

Do you see my trusting in Christ as my only hope for righteousness?

Am I intentionally building relationships with the lost?

Do I worry too much about how others perceive me?

Am I using my time and {our} money wisely?

Do you see me moving from things that use to bind me?

What better person to ask than my husband who sees me everyday, in the good,the bad {and ugly} am I living authentically for Christ? Am I on the mission for Jesus Christ?

As I define my authentic self, who I want to really be, it really is simple, and that is OK.
I am a sinner saved by grace, and I pray that during this short life here on earth I will be as Marion desires and describes in her article.

"Authenticity, let it flow. Let it be real and raw and full of God."

May that be my life mission....FULL of GOD, on mission for Jesus Christ no matter where I am or what I am doing.

"Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation." 1 Peter 2:12


Justin said...

Well said, hon. My life would lead others to believe that my mission is ambiguous, at best. Thanks for the reminder. I too, need to be more transparent with you. I love you.

Libby said...

Having a mission is a big theme anywhere I turn - I see it at church, in high profile ministry organizations, among my Christian and nonChristian friends. What will living "Full of God and on mission for Jesus Christ" look like in your life? How will you be different (if at all) doing that than you were before?

Megan said...

great thoughts- i call this being "heart wide open" with people, which, in the last few years, i do see God doing more and more of it in me. it's so good, and yet dangerous and vulnerable at times. but, nothing good will generally happen if we aren't willing to be risky, right?


anne said...

Great question Libby.
For me...{and maybe this deserves a blog post} I think it really means that in my life, in all that I do I do ask others if those questions I posed in this post are true of me. I think they are marks of being a faithful Christ follower---not a "Am I a Christian?" checklist but something to show growth and that I'm continuing on that mission for him.
My HOPE is that I can be more straighforward with who I am. Admit my weaknesses and desire to grow, to be raw and real with people I meet so that they see the passion and desire I have for my great savior!

anne said...

And Megan...
Vunerable? Definately, but you are right, I think so much good can come from that risk!

Annika said...

Anne, this is beautiful. Amen, and amen, and amen. :) I think one of the things I struggle with the most as a stay-at-home mom is focusing SO much on the kids' and their development, and the training and discipleship that goes into it...that sometimes I realize I'm neglecting my OWN relationship with the Lord as I'm trying to lead THEM to one...which just has "no-no" written all over it. :) I'm reminded often that my relationship with God must be daily, hourly, and regular for me to be any kind of authentic, whether it's with my kids or a boss or a stranger on the street...I can't fake authenticity. :) Anyhow...just a few scattered thoughts...but I appreciate you sharing these questions from the sermon...I'll have to copy those to my journal soon. :) Have a great day!