prayer.

{taken with cell, retro camera}

I've been thinking about prayer lately...and praying about prayer. I have to admit, I'm not the best at it. I'm not consistent about it. I think I fear I am praying to much with my petitions and not enough with praise, and then I tend to avoid it altogether as I don't want to feel like {and God knows if I am} I'm faking it. I'll pray in large groups {sometimes} but I feel like I am always fumbling over my words because I don't want to sound like I am trying to impress people, but at the same time I don't want to sound like a babbling fool.

Here is the thing though, that I have been thinking about more: God knows my heart. Maybe I'm not the most eloquent, and maybe I often times don't know what to say, or exactly how to pray but I know that I should just {like the old Nike ads displayed} DO IT. Our actions are a reflection of our heart, and my avoiding prayer has shown me that I don't see that it really boils down to me, my heart, and my pride.

As I've been thinking about prayer,this verse has been coming to mind.

" Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." {Philippians 4:6}

This includes being anxious about prayer itself.

Then the other day I stumbled across this:
"I appeal to you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to strive together with me in your prayers to God on my behalf."{ Romans 15:30}
Hello?! Wake up call?!
STRIVE to pray. When have I ever done this? To see God as my only hope and CLING to him and desperately cling to him. To do this through prayer. What an amazing gift that I really have taken for granted. A gift from a savior who has shown grace upon grace and I've so blindly ignored it for so long because of my own selfish fears.

When was the last time I have strived, struggled, and persisted in prayer? I think about the struggles of so many in the Bible, like Paul who PRAYED for those who hated him that they might be saved. I've never thought much how hard that could have been for him, to persist, and to struggle in having a heart of love towards those who hated him, to want them to know Christ like he did.

AMAZING.

So, this year as we welcome a forth child into our home and as we embark on new challenges and changes of what may happen, I hope that I can learn to pray more. That God would reveal to me the importance to be persistent in prayer.

To struggle. To STRIVE and to persevere in prayer and praise to him.

Happy 2011.