the mother's day that wasn't

   {taken on the way to church, Mother's day}

7:38 my alarm went off, and I hit snooze. I heard Justin in the bathroom finishing up before he had to leave to be at church by 8.
 I think I hit snooze at least three times before I forced myself out of bed. Good thing I had thought of what to wear the night before. Got dressed, tossed my hair up in crazy pony and went to wake the boys. After coaxing them out of bed, got them downstairs, dressed and grabbed Clif bars for the car, we headed out the door at 8:49...we were doing well.  { I forgot to mention that I completely fell flat on my face right after I put my wedge shoes on...who falls in wedge shoes? I should just stick with flats}
It was pouring rain out and I was dying for a Starbucks latte. Unsure if Sunday School started at 9 or 9:15 I decided it'd be best to skip Starbucks and just get to church. As I pulled up to the curb in front of our church building {which is in a strip mall} an older couple from church was headed in. They saw me and Bill headed over to help. He took Dex and a box for me while the rest of the boys piled out and into the building and headed to their classes.  I headed in {wondering why I didn't grab my rain jacket as I was wearing a white blouse, but luckily the rain had subsided a bit} and grabbed Declan who was being held by Laurel , made some small talk with a few people and went to grab a cup of coffee.
  I poured my coffee and opened a creamer {creamer is a new thing for me, I used to do black but have been finding a little cream enjoyable} I dump in the half and half and there are curds...in my coffee. GROSS. I look at a few more of the creamers and they all look gross. Justin comes in at some point and offers to drink my curd coffee and I grab a new cup and someone brings out a new box of creamers...and the old box which expired 5 months ago. We toss it in the trash.
   I head to the nursery as I am on duty for babes this morning during Sunday school and 5 kids and I {and my friend Gina joins at some point} stack blocks, look at books and color. It was chill.
   After Sunday school ended, the girls who were on for church relieved me of my duties. I found the boys and we sat in our row, as church began. Long story short,  Liam and Evan fought over toys Evan snuck into church...I hulled them both out, spankings and a firm talking to. Back into church, Liam and Evan fought over a Bible, Evan laid on floor, Liam whined, Liam stole Maxwell's paper, while I was trying to get Evan off said floor. My friend Jess came over and took Liam to sit with her while I talked to Evan to sit still while he pulled away as I had my arm around him whispering in his ear. I stood up to finish singing what was left of the singing and cried. I was not only utterly embarrassed but felt like the WORST Mother EVER. I felt like I had ZERO control over my unruly children and that they had no respect for me.
  After church I bolted. I talked the people I only had to, gathered the boys and left. Justin called asking if I had the boys and I was all angry and annoyed at him {for no reason of course} and went home. I grumbled as I picked up pajamas scattered all around the living room, swept and cleaned things left out from the night before. I heated up some leftovers for lunch and cried again as I folded laundry. There was no real reason...just hormonal and being completely selfish.
Justin came home and told me to leave the house for awhile but I didn't feel like it. I finished laundry and took a short nap on the couch.
  I woke up in a much better mood and Justin reminded me that I had much to be thankful for, four healthy boys { a baby on the way} and despite the frustrations of everyday life that we all experience, I should be praising God for the blessings he has poured out on us.
  And he was/is right.
We decided to go to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. Not exactly my Mother's Day choice of dining out, but we had a gift card from a couple of kids on Maxwell's soccer team as a gift to Justin {who coached}, and the boys all LOVE B.W.W. TV's and trivia...they are in love. And the place had only a few other people there, one of which was a large family of older kids and adults who were all watching intently and laughing wholeheartedly at America's Funniest Home Video's on one of the TV's. We had a nice dinner. Max and Evan were THRILLED to be winning Trivia {other people were signed on but clearly not playing} and we all left with full bellies and in a good spirits. At home boys went to bed and  Just and I stayed up for a bit before we to hit the sack.
  I'm not sure what I expected for this mother's day{ I didn't really have any expectations}...right after church I thought it was the WORST ever, but it turned out just fine. Nothing spectacular, but ending the day together just doing something simple was all this Mother needed.