We are expecting our sixth baby in early 2015 {officially due February 1}. We were going back and forth about having another {we were also lightly looking into adoption} and God showed us our decision in May.
My first reaction was one of pure joy and excitement. My heart fluttered with excitement of this sixth positive pregnancy as much as the first. Then a few days later I had a little moment of shock. Growing up I did always see myself as a mama to two or three little ones. But four would be the ABSOLUTE max. I also saw a mix of boys and girls.
And now here we are. And if I am being completely honest I have struggled with not having a daughter. The last two ultrasounds were especially difficult, as I had high hopes for welcoming a little girl into our house.
I wrestled with the "why?" and cried MANY tears over it. And each time, God would wrap his loving arms around me and gently remind me to trust in HIS plan for our family.
When the time comes to find out about this little one growing inside me, I am trusting in the Sovereignty of God first, before what I think is best. He has been showing me how much beautiful, marvelous, merciful he is and I am already feeling less defeated, anxious, and overwhelmed.
I just love this quote from one of my favorite authors, Paul David Tripp.
"When my true spiritual condition reveals that I, in fact, love me more than anything else, I will always shrink the size of my care and concern, sacrifice and discipline, and hopes and dreams to the size of my own life. If I love God more than anything else, I will be pulled way beyond he borders of my own wants and needs to the spaciousness of God's kingdom, where redemption and restoration of all things is the order of the day, every day."
Holy smokes is this such a beautiful promise. In the circumstances of my life he is making me more trusting, and more dependent on him. God is so good. He is so good to me.
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