My little brother makes me laugh.

the case of the cursed trail mix

So there's this bag of trail mix sitting on my desk here at work.I got it from the United Way.

See, they handed out little bags to everyone in the office along with forms for donating money to them. So I guess you could say the trail mix was a little pre-'thank you' from them.

No problem right?

Except that I didn't donate any money.But the trail mix was given to me via my mailbox without my consent. So I grabbed it out of my mailbox and put it on my desk fully knowing that I would never eat it since I am not a big fan of trail mix. But mostly, I felt guilty for not donating money and felt that I could not enjoy a bag of trail mix given to me under false-donation-pretenses.

So it has been sitting here for about a month and half...staring at me...taunting, judging, mocking me with it's message of 'New Look, Same Great Taste!'. Is this how the United Way operates? By torturing me with a bag of trail mix which I clearly don't want to eat but even worse, feel I cannot eat because of my cheap-ness!? WHO ARE THESE MONSTERS!

Clearly, this bag of trail mix is cursed. It must be destroyed. I know of only one way to do so. No, it doesn't involve Mount Doom. This bag of trail mix has an expiration date. Thus, I must wait...silently...patiently...until 04/06/08 when finally the raisins curdle, the M&M's harden, and the nuts....well I'm not really sure what happens when you leave out nuts too long. Nevertheless, that day will be the day of reckoning....when I finally cast off the chains of trail mix oppression and throw away the bag.

*copyright. Alec Wojciechowski 2007