Dear Mr. Chester Mouse,
While I know we have open fields behind our home, where you most likely appeared from I'm writing to inquire why you have taken permanent residence in our home.
While we don't mind you passing by, we'd give a quick wave (and wave you along) and smile as you moved on to a nice abandoned cardboard box or secret place not in an ACTUAL HUMANS home.
You see it's not that we hate you, it's just that you don't belong here...it's just the way it is.
We apologize for the death of Rodney,and of Pip, but we have had to resort to drastic measures to move you all along.
We haven't seen 'evidence" of you in a few days in the tupperware drawer (and I thank you for staying away from the food) so we are hoping you are happy in your new home, far, far away from here.
best(firm and stern) regards,
Mrs. A$ Swanson
ps- I'm thankful you are NOT a rat...because then I would have to move.
And poor Mr. Swanson would surely scream like a girl and pass out.