Tuesday, September 22, 2009

on babies. part 1.

I'll never forget how we found out we were pregnant with our firstborn, Maxwell. It was just after Thanksgiving. Being just over a week late for my cycle I thought we might as well take a pregnancy test. We weren't trying to get pregnant, but we weren't trying not to.

I SWEAR I followed the instructions...waited the full five minutes and all, so I tossed the negative test into the trash can. I went into the kitchen to make dinner and I hear Justin call me into the bathroom.

"Uh, you're pregnant."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes you are. LOOK."

Sure enough TWO lines stared back at me.

"WHAT?!!!" We both repeated over and over again...followed by lots of laughter and tears of joy.

Nine months, two weeks overdue, and 60 lbs later I was at the hospital being induced. Long story short, after 38 hours of labor and not much progression, Maxwell was born via c-section weighing in at a whopping 10lbs. 1oz.

I was EXHAUSTED to say the least.

{AND, lets just say I have destroyed about EVERY picture I had of myself at the end of the pregnancy and right after I had him. I saved one...just to have, but seriously people when our friend Chad Kemp burst out in laughter not believing the picture was really me I knew most of them had to BURN. It had to be done...oh, and if any of you have any pictures I expect them to be sent to me PROMPTLY}

I'm not sure if we had it more difficult than the normal first time parents, but our first few weeks, were awful. We shed a lot of tears and we were NOT prepared for all that. Mostly I think we were suffering from exhaustion, but it all was a lot for us to take in at the time.

I cannot EXPRESS enough how THANKFUL I was {am} for my Mother-in-law and Mother who took turns staying with us. They were both SO helpful, wise, and allowed us to rest. I honestly think I would have given up on breastfeeding if my Mother-in-law wasn't there to encourage me. My Mom cooked and kept our house in order so I didn't lose my mind. I don't think we would have coped very well without their help.

If you know me at all, it is no secret that I DO NOT enjoy pregnancy. I know it is kind of selfish, many woman have not or will not experience what it is like to have a baby growing inside them, and for that I AM thankful. It is just hard time for me, growing so large and I have yet to have a child under 8 1/2 lbs.

Pregnancy isn't my thing, and it SURE doesn't look good on me.

All that said however, we ponder the idea of #4.

I am happy with three. 3 boys.

I won't lie, I'd LOVE a daughter. Justin LONGS for a daughter. I keep telling him that we for SURE will have that 4th boy. Not that we'd really care, but I can tell you that I am NOT having 5 kids.

It is not completely out of the question, but the very thought of being pregnant again well, is NOT appealing to me. Losing the post-pregnancy weight the third go round has proven DIFFICULT. I'm not like EVERY OTHER WOMAN I KNOW who looks FABULOUS a week after giving birth.

Babies, even though A LOT of work ARE a blast. Liam is in my favorite age...anywhere from five to eighteen months. GOLDEN. I love that time. I've REALLY been soaking it up with him because I know now, how quickly it really does pass...and soon they are starting their first day of school!


So, who knows what is in store for us?
God does know.
That rocks...and that will do for now.


Megan said...

after 3, the fourth felt like NO extra work at all- totally serious! it sounds crazy, but it's true! no worries if there's a 4!


Mike, Torie and Boys said...

You make beautiful babies- might as well go for the 4th :)

Kelly Langner Sauer said...

Awh, you make me weepy...

About two months before we got pregnant with Button, I was exactly where you are - not wanting to be pregnant, wanting another baby, not wanting to lose my independence again, wanting a baby boy or a sibling for Piper. Finally, one day as I was pulling out a ziploc bag in the kitchen to put some food away after lunch, I looked past my ceiling and told God I couldn't figure out what would be best for me, could He please decide what He wanted?

I can't say this has been an easy pregnancy, or that I'm happy about all of it, but at least I know it was and is in His hands, because I sure didn't see this one comin'!

Ashleigh said...

Anne, we are in the same place of pondering #4, yet being happy with 3 and wondering if we should stop. So who knows. No immediate plans to have another. And, can I just say, I don't look even close to fabulous after giving birth! It takes me awhile to shed the weight. I still have that pesky 10lbs left that keep hanging on. I'm trying once again to lose it.

Danielle said...

We're in the "waiting for God" stage. There have been "no barriers" to me getting pregnant since the spring. I'd hoped, actually, to be expecting by this point. However, God's timing is best. I go through cycles of having anxious thoughts "what if we don't get pregnant again?" to "how can I possibly care for another child?" Especially lately, as the boys have been testing me at every turn.

So, like you, I'm thankful to rest in the knowledge that God knows what's in store.

Friends of Narnia said...

That DOES rock, Anne. :) Children are blessings through and through, although there are moments when it's hard to see it. :)

Sarah G. said...

Number four is a breeze number three is the hardest to to handle. I know you guys will make the right decision that works for your family :). Oh and it has been 4 months since my baby was born and I m bigger then when I first got pregnant with her. I have had my babies so close together that I have baby, baby, baby, baby, and baby weight to loose. You look awesome from the pictures I have seen. You are beautiful!!! P.S. I had a girl on number 4 :)

Annika said...

Mmm, glad to know I'm not the only one who doesn't totally enjoy pregnancy. I am VERY thankful that I have been able to get pregnant, as you said, but pregnancy just does a number on my body. And I'm in your camp...I really don't want five kids...mainly because the thought of being pregnant again makes me want to cry! :) I wish I were one of those of those lucky ones that doesn't get sick or gain a pound over their baby's weight and who just "glows"...but I'm not. :) And I think we could share some pretty hilarious prego pictures between the two of us! :) (Privately, of course.) Blessings as you consider #4! We had just started to "consider" it when I found out I was pregnant...so watch out! :)

Les said...

Oh I think you should have one more... It would complete you guys I think. I maybe want one more, but hubby is old heehee (45) and I don't think he wants to go through the crying phase again. We shall see! Two is fine or three for me. Already so blessed.