Wednesday, April 29, 2009

the swine flu. A guide to survival.

source:www.buisinessweek.com

Ever since Justin heard about the swine flu, let's just say he's been a little obsessed over it. He won't stop talking about it, and at this point it has gotten pretty humorous to me.

THE GUY IS WHACK. So without further ado here is:

Justin's swine flu survival guide


1. Sanitize/wash your hands every half hour
2. If you can, DO NOT leave your house.
3. If you leave your house, don't touch anything in public!
4. Always carry sanitizer with you...you never know when someone will sneeze on you.
5.Stay away from gyms because nobody cleans off their machine and you will FOR SURE catch it there!
6.If you touch something in public make sure you sanitize right away.
7. Purchase an outdoor shower so that when you come to your home you can clean off before entering it so that your home is a "safe haven"
8. If you have a sore throat...see your doctor RIGHT away. It's swine flu FOR SURE.
9. If you are not panicing...you should be.
10. The paper masks are useless...might as well go ahead and purchase the haz-mat suit.
Justin also keeps saying that if he happens to die from the swine flu that I should not worry or cry about his death.
Lord help me.

11 comments:

Melody said...

this also sounds like a guide to living in KY where allergies are horrible...maybe he should add that to the list, don't confuse allergies and the swine flu. we need to remind him that tons of people die from the regular flu every year. -Chad

Busch family said...

Lol. I guess we'll see you and your hazmat guy tonight! We'll bring extra sanitizer.

Sarah G. said...

LOL!!! I needed a good laugh. Thanks

Keith Walters said...

#7: I think showering outside might be worse than wearing a bikini.

I say we eat lots of bacon and country ham. First, the more bacon you eat the less swine there will be to spread flu. Second, the more swine you eat the higher resistance you will have to their flu.

You should have those guys who kidnapped ET come and set up a bunch of plastic tunnels and stuff around your house, those tunnels are always germ free!

allison said...

Oh Justin is so special, isn't he? special=WHACK.
1. If you drink enough water you'll go to the bathroom every half hour and therefore wash your hands.
2. I clean MY machines at the gym and so does pretty much everyone else. But I go to a clean gym. :)
3. I had a sore throat last week, which means I had the swine flu, and I saw all of you so you probably all have it now anyways.
4. If you guys cease leaving your house, and I assume none of us will be allowed IN your house henceforth, I will miss you all. :)

Alexis said...

I feel much safer about traveling to El Paso now! The company has agreed to purchase a Haz-Mat suit and a vat of hand sanitizer for me. The neighbors seem to LOVE the outdoor shower that we installed at the house. Thanks for your helpful hints...I now need to sanitize my hands after using this keyboard!

Keith Walters said...

Hey Anne did you know that Allison and I survived SARS??? Swine flu is nothing compared to that!

anne said...

I know!!! Allison told me!! Justin brushed it off like it was no big thing like a chicken wing...
let's face it. He IS whack

Ashleigh said...

OK, I am apparently whack too. I don't think Justin's survival guide sounds all that bad. I may have to go buy some more hand sanitizer today. Hee Hee. :)

Kelly said...

LOL - this is just too funny! Thank you for a light-hearted perspective on all of this!

Katie said...

LOL!! TOO FUNNY. Shaun is the same way! I couldn't (in all my media ignorance) figure out WHY he suddenly cared whether the kids washed hands or not, then it slowly dawned on me. Swine flu monitor in the house.

Hey- thanks so much for your comment- I literally laughed so loud at your personality in it that Shaun asked what I was laughing at in the other room, ha!