Wednesday, May 05, 2010

school pick-up mediocre, and butt wiping....in case you were interested.

1. We usually walk to pick Max up from school. As you walk {UPHILL} to the school entrance you have to walk past "the lineup"...where parents who are picking up their kid{s} by car line up for the exit system they have in place. By the time we are walking up the hill cars are packed beyond the driveway and into the street {some nuts get there at 2:15....I don't know about you but I don't want to sit in my car, all sweaty and bored for an HOUR before school lets out all so we can be the first ones outta there. I don't get it.} so basically you are on display for all these people leisurely sitting in their cars {reading, listening to music, or picking their nose while they wait} watching you walk up the hill.
So what if I change before we leave just because I feel like I'm walking on a catwalk and maybe put some lip gloss on {forget makeup...I don't wear it because I am L-A-Z-Y...you hear that I am a bum!!} just so I might be somewhat bearable to look at as I walk up that hill.
Nevermind the fact that I can't walk in a straight line or that I usually end up CARRYING Evan while pushing Liam, because he is "too tired"...I mean heck if I can haul my blubber up a hill his little legs should be able to make the short hike.
When we get up to the school, I am catching my breath like I just finished running a half-marathon {OK, fine. a full marathon} and Evan is running around in the grass because ALL OF THE SUDDEN his legs don't hurt anymore.

2.Evan uses the word "mediocre" as if it were his name. He just adds it in a sentence here and there. I finally asked him what it means.

"It means you need to drive your car."

Of course it does. DUH.

3. I'm sure you will all be pleased to hear that it has been a good while since Evan has slammed his P with the toilet seat.
HOWEVER, we have recently been teaching him to wipe his own behind and he uses half a roll...meaning I spend a good portion of each morning after his post breakfast relief unplugging a toilet. {fyi...I've been trying to pay attention to WHEN he is heading in, so I can remind him to keep the squares to a minimum.
Why not just wipe him a little longer you ask? {well maybe you don't ask, but I'm going to tell you why anyway}
The kid has NO RESERVATIONS about using a toilet with the door wide open and asking others to join him inside the bathroom, you know as to not miss anything. It must be like when your in the middle of a movie and you get up to use the bathroom and hope you don't miss anything important.
As another side note, I have also caught this child on our back porch pants around his ankles spraying our yard. {and I should add that our neighbors can see our yard VERY WELL and are outside MOST OF THE TIME}

He also has no problem, no matter who is over at our house, yelling at the top of his lungs;

"MMMOOOOOOMMMM!!! Can you wipe my butt?!!!!"

Let's just say it's happened on more than one occasion when people have been over.
So, we decided that it was about time this kid began wiping his own derriere.

3 comments:

Danielle said...

Funny. Especially like Evan's definition of mediocre.

Keith Walters said...

That is a classic definition and I love it when Evan yells "MMMOOOOOOMMMM!!! Can you wipe my butt?!!!!" I can think of few things that are funnier.

Zoe said...

You crack me up! Miss you!